Everyone in South Park is your friend.
You own all the weapons and costumes available in the game.
You've collected all of the available costumes.
While inside Mr. Slave, you summoned Mr. Slave.
You collected all of the Chinpokomon.
Gingers have bitten you 3 times without you blocking.
You defeated the Meth Tweekers while wearing the Evil Cartman goatee and bald cap.
You accepted your fate and chose the name Douchebag yourself.
You have collected half of the available costume sets.
You collected 15 Chinpokomon.
You farted on four major authority figures.
You farted on the corpse of an aborted Nazi Zombie fetus.
You knocked out 3 or more enemies with a single fart outside of battle.
You befriended the Goths, like everyone else playing this game.
You've farted on animals 25 times.
You completed your first day in South Park.
You farted on 10 enemies in the world that were knocked out.
Over the course of the game, you've scored 100 perfect attacks.
You've unlocked all of the upgrades for a New Kid ability.
You defeated the Boss Hall Monitor while wearing freckles.
You collected 5 Chinpokomon.
Over the course of the game, you've blocked 100 attacks.
You found Jesus while playing as a Jew.
You flung a turd of your own creation at an enemy.
You successfully blocked every enemy attack in a single (non-tutorial) battle.
You have joined the KKK.
You defeated the High Jew Elf Kyle in battle.
You defeated the Grand Wizard Cartman in battle.
You opened all of the garages in South Park.
You completed the game without selling any items.
You defeated Princess Kenny while looking like David Hasselhoff.
You shat your pants during a boss battle.
You've farted on a dog while in gnome form.
You defeated Princess Kenny in your girl makeover disguise.
You've farted on every buddy in the game.
You interrupted 5 channel attacks by using a fart.
You defeated Princess Kenny while living with Dire AIDS.
You watched your parents have sex for 60 seconds.
You defeated 3 enemies in one battle while your buddy was knocked out.
You completed the game and never ended a battle with your buddy knocked out.
You befriended your father.
You made friends with half of South Park.
You sold 300 junk items.
You defeated Princess Kenny and recovered the Stick of Truth.
You defeated 20 enemies using Cartman's Ass.
You've farted on people 100 times.
In three separate battles, you've taken a shit in your pants.
You befriended both crab people and gnomes.
You've let Kenny die in combat 10 times over the course of the game.
You've spent $500.
